I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
