shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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