thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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