i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
