I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
