Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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