dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
