I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it glows. i had to have it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
