Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
