ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
