hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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