How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Drake has all the answers
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
