remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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