hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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