How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
