I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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