So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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