I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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