So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
