when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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