Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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