oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
