Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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