____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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