The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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