4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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