Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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