i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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