Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Couch. On fire.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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