Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Come see our sink grown plant.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You ate ashes out of my bong
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
