She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
