Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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