Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
