nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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