ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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