Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
