The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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