Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
