I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
