Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
