Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
