You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
