also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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