508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
