$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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