the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
