and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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