We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
