Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
