There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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