Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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