her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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