how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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