dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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